(originally posted on http://theaaronelyareview.tumblr.com on May 10th, 2010)
I haven’t DJ’d as many weddings as many of my colleagues. However, I’ve done it enough to know that there are several different types of people that attend wedding receptions…and 6 types, in particular, that like to talk to the DJ. And by “talk to”, I mean “annoy”. Here they are in no particular order:
1) “The Know-It-All”
This is someone who either is currently is or has been in the past a mobile DJ. It could also be someone who worked at a radio station in college or ran sound for a club at some point. He/she (rarely ever a “she”) will want to know what kind of equipment you’re using down to the last detail. Amps, volts, inputs, outputs, brand names, etc. The Know-It-All will explain how he/she didn’t have this kind of equipment back in the day, and yet, will not likely compliment you on how nice yours is. They’ll then go on to explain what kind of equipment you SHOULD have and how it would be better for the types of events you’re doing. Meanwhile, you’re trying to ignore him and get the next song(s) ready. Go away, Mr. Know-It-All….I got this. He/she might also come out of # 5 on this list, “The Volume Cop”, but more on that later.
2) “Drunk Uncle”
Ahh, the Drunk Uncle. The Drunk Uncle is one of the first repeating personalities I discovered at wedding receptions when I became a professional DJ. First of all, there is ALWAYS a Drunk Uncle…the DJ may or may not always come in contact with him, but someone will. In some cases, the bride will inform you that there will be a drunk uncle at the reception. This is most often not the case…and the Drunk Uncle will reveal himself…unannounced. When it comes to the relationship between the DJ and The Drunk Uncle, the quest is simple: Drunk Uncle requests absolutely ridiculous, inappropriate, or non-wedding-reception-friendly songs. I always tell the story of a wedding I did a few years ago where the bride, most of her friends, and a good portion of her family were graduates/fans of the University Of Florida. I played Florida fight songs and chants throughout the night and everyone seemed to enjoy it. No big deal. Well, Drunk Uncle comes to me later in the reception and asks me (in his thick, country accent) to play “Rocky Top”…which is the fight song for the University of Tennessee….an SEC rival of Florida’s. He insists the bride will “love it”, so I tell him to go tell the bride to come tell me to play “Rocky Top”, and THEN I’ll play it. He shuffled off and I never saw him again. Another Drunk Uncle got a hold of my printed song library (which I don’t typically leave out). He found a song that he wanted to hear (“Fly Away” by Lenny Kravitz) and wouldn’t leave me alone until I played it. Finally, I played his song….and the dance floor turned in to a ghost town. Thanks, pal. The Drunk Uncle means well, but just doesn’t get it.
3) “The Overzealous Bridesmaid”
The Overzealous Bridesmaid is usually created with a combination of great dance music and white wine. She is SO happy for her friend who just got married! The Drunk Bridesmaid is available in two varieties: married, and unmarried. The Married Drunk Bridesmaid is likely to relive her wedding day and have the fun she didn’t get to have on her wedding day. The unmarried Drunk Bridesmaid is living vicariously through her recently wedded girlfriend and is having the fun that the bride isn’t having (assuming the bride is still stressed out). The Drunk Bridesmaid LOVES to dance and she’s going to want to hear songs that make her get her groove on. Early on, she’ll make GREAT requests! Music that really gets the party going. You have to be careful, though….The Overzealous Bridesmaid is fully capable of becoming a monster…and if she does, you’ll be expected to FEED that monster. She’ll hear one song she likes, and then the DJ becomes her personal iPod/jukebox. Don’t let her get out of hand, and she’ll have a great time and won’t get on your nerves too much. Bottoms up, girlfriend!
4) “Karaoke Hero”
I haven’t come across too many of these, but enough to make note. The Karaoke Star is someone who thinks that since they sing great at karaoke night at the bar, that people at their friend’s wedding will enjoy it just as much. Well, I’ve got news for ya…they won’t. People singing at receptions (with the exception of those who are pre-arranged with the bride) should NEVER be allowed. I cite two reasons for this: 1) The Karaoke Star might be a decent singer, but chances are good that they aren’t NEARLY as good as they think they are. 2) If the DJ allows one person to sing, others will want to sing as well…..and that’s a disaster waiting to happen. Don’t get me wrong, if it’s a family tradition for Aunt Betsy is known to sing “Moon River” at every family wedding, by all means, crank up the Andy Williams! BUT, if your college roommates want to get up and sing “LOVE SHACK” at the top of their lungs, that’s just not kosher. Bottom line, keep karaoke night at the bar and away from the wedding reception. Always.
5) “The Volume Cop”
I’m always adjusting my volume and am being cognizant of the sound at a wedding reception. The Volume Cop, quite simply, will NEVER be satisfied with the volume of the microphone or music. Too loud, too quiet, whatever it is…it’s never “just right”. In better cases, the DJ can make a quick adjustment while the Volume Cop is right there at the table…and that usually works. However, in rare cases, the Volume Cop will continue to patronize the DJ table complaining of the volume. And in even MORE rare cases, the Volume Cop will complain about the volume of each SONG as it comes up! I’ve had that happen. Seriously. At some point, the Volume Cop needs to accept the fact that ALL of the other guests (including the ones who are paying the DJ) are happy with the volume…and if they don’t like it, relocate!
6) “The Chronic Requester”
The Chronic Requester is someone who probably hasn’t been to many weddings, but has been to PLENTY of bars on DJ night. I always welcome requests at weddings, but as many DJ’s will tell you, not all great music is “great” for wedding receptions. The Chronic Requester does not understand (or accept) this concept. They will request the most ridiculous songs that have NO place being played at a wedding reception. Some of the recent requests I’ve received: The theme from Ghostbusters, Daniel by Elton John (a song about a kid who dies), Friends In Low Places (a song about an ex-boyfriend who crashes his ex-girlfriend’s wedding), Me So Horny (seriously), a 15-minute Phish song….the list goes on and on. The Chronic Requester could be ANYONE, so as a DJ, we have to keep alert at all times. I usually explain to the person that they’re requesting good songs, but maybe not “reception friendly” songs. The Chronic Requester is hell-bent on requesting a good song, so they’ll keep trying until they get one that works. Like the “Drunk Uncle” the Chronic Requester means well, but doesn’t quite get it. Such is life. Just don’t let the Chronic Requester get a hold of your music list.
There are plenty of other types of reception guests that DJ’s come in contact with….the guy who thinks the DJ table is a coaster, the photographer who thinks the DJ table is a “staging/storage area”, the person who asks where the restrooms are, etc…but these were just a few that I felt needed to be acknowledged.
