Happy? Not So Much.

It seems like a happy-go-lucky tune. It sucks you in with a catchy rhythm. Maybe even a great video. Your favorite radio station plays it all the time. It’s upbeat and is great to sing along to……but is it supposed to be a “happy” song? Eh, not so much.

We’re talking about happy sounding songs with sad, dark, or otherwise not-happy content.

While doing research for this one, I quickly realized that I am probably the 5,000th person to write about this topic. I certainly won’t be the last, either. It’s just too good of a subject not to address.

Here are some songs that, on the surface, seem happy but are anything but. Also, I may not be spot on with the exact meanings of each of these songs. I guess music is always open to interpretation.

“There She Goes” by The La’s – 1988
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At first listen, it seems like a harmless love song/one hit wonder. Maybe about a man falling in love with a woman (as they often do). When you dig in to the lyrics, you quickly learn that this song is most likely about heroin abuse. WHAT!? Lines like “There she blows again / pulsing through my veins / and I just can’t contain / this feeling that remains”. Yeah, pretty clear this is about heroin. Great song, though.

“Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” by The Beatles – 1969
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Abbey Road is widely viewed as the finest collection of songs ever released by The Beatles. This quirky track lays smack dab in the middle of side 1 (remember records?). It seems like a fun little tune…but Maxwell is a serial murderer. And guess what? His weapon of choice? Yep…a HAMMER. He kills his girlfriend Joan, his teacher, and then the judge who tries his case. Whistle along with it!

“Today” by Smashing Pumpkins – 1993
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“Today is the greatest day I’ve ever known”…words that Billy Corgan probably uttered the day AFTER he got rid of the suicidal thoughts that inspired the song. Along with that, the band at that time was going through a pretty rough patch. Drummer Jimmy Chamberlain was battling heroin addiction; lead guitarist James Iha and bassist D’arcy Wretzky had just broken up. With all of the stuff that was going on with Smashing Pumpkins at that time, it’s a miracle their Siamese Dream album ever came out.

“Mack The Knife” by Bobby Darin  – 1959
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Louis Armstrong first performed the pop version of this song in 1956, but it’s popularity is credited mostly to Bobby Darin. Darin’s version has an addictive, swinging beat which is synonymous with that era. The original song, however, comes from The Threepenny Opera which debuted in 1928. It was sung by a group of rolling minstrels. They’re comparing the lead character to a shark and telling of his associations with robberies, arson, and murder. Nice, right? That’s a little deep, so thanks for staying with me. Let’s move on.

“Born In The U.S.A.” by Bruce Springsteen – 1984
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President Ronald Reagan used this song in his reelection campaign in 1984. Bruce, however, is a staunch democrat and denounced any association with the Reagan campaign. All that aside, I’ve always wondered why Reagan wanted to use it. Sure, it seems full of patriotic pride. I mean, it’s in the TITLE. However, the song is actually about a severe LACK of patriotism among working class Americans.
(side note: “Born In The USA” was the first album to be released on CD as part of its original release…or so legend has it…it just depends on how you define “first”)

“The Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades” by Timbuk 3 – 1986
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“I study nuclear science / I love my classes / I got a crazy teach who wears dark glasses / things are goin’ great / and they’re only gettin’ better” — Seems like a positive outlook on the future, right? Well, this song is actually a cynical outlook on the threat of nuclear war. It was released in 1986 during the height of cold war tensions between the United States and the Soviet Union. Considering the time frame, this one hit wonder fit in perfectly with the times. Plus, who cares if it’s dark? It’s got a great beat and you can dance to it. :)

“(Don’t Go Back To) Rockville” by R.E.M. – 1984
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R.E.M. is notorious for unintelligible lyrics. If you’ve heard this song, chances are good that you’ve wondered what Stipe sings about in the verses. The chorus is clear: “Don’t go back to Rockville / and waste anther year”. It was written by Mike Mills. It’s the story of his then girlfriend Ingrid Shorr. He pleads for he not to move back to Rockville, Maryland to live with her parents. His pleas turn in to lyrics such as “You’ll wind up in some factory that’s full time filth / and nowhere left to go” …. and …. “At night I drink myself to sleep / and pretend I don’t care that you’re not here with me”. Wow. What a downer. It’s how R.E.M. rolls rolled, I guess.

I wrote down a few more examples:
“Silence is Golden” – by The Tremeoles: A guy sees that his crush is being mistreated by her boyfriend, but can’t decide whether or not to tell her. 

“I Don’t Like Mondays” by Boomtown Rats: This one is about Brenda Ann Spencer who killed 2 people in a shooting rampage in 1979 killing 2 and injuring more at an elementary school in southern California. Her motive? She didn’t like Mondays. 

“Boys Of Summer” by Don Henley: Nope, it’s not about baseball…it’s about letting go of those summers of your youth and growing up.

“Heart Of Glass” by Blondie: Behind this funky quasi-disco beat is a fragile, gentle soul who is afraid of being hurt…afraid of getting her heart broken.

“Happy Hour” by The Housemartins: Best I can tell, the main figure in the song is constantly being dragged out to the bar with his boss which becomes tiresome. Also, the chorus of this song may seem familiar to many Barenaked Ladies fans: “…’cause they speak another language and it’s never really happened to me / it’s happy hour again”. Think about it.

–a. 

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If you play this, you have to play that.

Let’s see…how do I explain this?

There are certain songs out there…some you know, some you might not…when you play that song, you HAVE to play the song that immediately follows it. I came up with the 6 best examples of this…it’ll make sense when you read it.

1. QUEEN: If you play WE WILL ROCK YOU, you have to play WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS.

2. GREEN DAY: If you play BRAIN STEW, you have to play JADED.

3. INXS: If you play NEED YOU TONIGHT, you have to play MEDIATE.

4. JACKSON BROWNE: If you play THE LOAD OUT, you have to play STAY.

5. LED ZEPPELIN: If you play HEARTBREAKER, you have to play LIVING LOVING MAID (SHE’S JUST A WOMAN).

6. THE POLICE: If you play DRIVEN TO TEARS, you have to play WHEN THE WORLD IS RUNNING DOWN YOU MAKE THE BEST OF WHAT’S STILL AROUND.
(there wasn’t a video that had The Police doing both, so here are videos of each one)

So…that’s it. Get it? Got it? Good. Adjust your iPods accordingly.

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There Are No Words

When you think about it, the very beginning of music started without the use of words in songs. Imagine a group of traveling minstrels frolicking through Sherwood Forest playing their lutes and gourd drums. Were they singing? Probably not. 

Guys like Beethoven, Bach, & Tchaikovsky created some of the most beautiful pieces of music in the history of mankind…and not one of their charts contained lyrics. 

Words, schmerds! This edition of the review is all about the great INSTRUMENTAL songs. Here are 10 of my favorites. As always, they’re in no particular order.

Sleepwalk – Santo & Johnny – 1959

Some might recognize this one from the end of the 1987 movie ‘La Bamba’. It’s played at the end after Ricthie Valenz, Buddy Holly, & the Big Bopper die in the plane crash in Iowa. It was also covered by The Brian Setzer Orchestra. A gorgeous song from start to finish.

One Step Beyond – Madness – 1979

Sure, this song starts off with a quick dialogue, but the rest of the song is straight up instrumental ska genius. Most people remember Madness from “Our House”, but One Step Beyond definitely sticks out as one of their better songs.

Misirlou – Dick Dale & The Deltones – 1963

Who doesn’t love this song? I mean, come on. This song rules. Dick Dale was an amazing guitarist (obviously). I admit that I probably wouldn’t have known this song had it not been for it’s use in ‘Pulp Fiction’.

Green Onions – Booker T. & The MG’s

Booker T. & The MG’s are arguably one of the greatest rock and roll bands to ever come out of the 1960’s…and Green Onions is easily their greatest contribution to the world of rock. Their induction in to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 1992 was WELL deserved. 

Jessica – Allman Brothers Band – 1973

You don’t have to be a true Southerner to appreciate the depth of the Allman Brothers roots in Southern rock…but it probably helps. Two words: laser show!

The Stars and Stripes Forever – John Philip Sousa – 1897

If there were such things as “rock stars” in the late 19th century, John Philip Sousa would have been the Bono of his day. Of the 136 marches Sousa composed, Stars & Stripes was easily his most notable work. In actually became the official march of the United States in 1987. Every band geek (myself included) dreamed of performing this song at a concert. Getting to perform this song was one of the greatest experiences of my (extremely short) musical performance “career”.

Rockit – Herbie Hancock – 1982

Herbie Hancock has always been a step ahead of the rest of us. 1983’s ‘Rockit’ was early evidence of that. Not only was the song innovative, but the video was incredible. No one had seen anything like it before. Back when MTV actually played videos, this was always a treat to see. The mechanical legs were always my favorite party. Creepy and awesome. 

Wipe Out – The Safaris – 1963

More surf music? Sure! Why not? Don’t tell me you never tried to play the drum part on your knee or steering wheel. A couple more years, and I’ll be able to attempt it on ACTUAL drums. :)

TSOP (The Sound of Philadelphia) – MFSB – 1974

I’m too young to really remember what Soul Train was. As an adult (and as a fan of ALL music), I recognize now that Soul Train was an immensely important piece of bringing funk, soul, and R&B music in to the mainstream. TSOP was the theme song to Sould Train for several years and helped define that unique Philadelphia sound. So funky…I love it.

The Star Spangled Banner – Jimi Hendrix, Woodstock – 1969

Jimi Hendrix was the last act to perform at Woodstock. By the time he took the stage at 8:30am on Monday morning, only about a quarter of the crowd still remained…and THIS is how he started his set. Can you imagine waking up to this? After three full days of peace, love, and music…to have this ultimate shred as your alarm clock. Considering the tumultuous times, this was quite a statement. Unbelievable and truly epic. I bet the people who left early and heard about this kicked themselves years later for doing so. :)

Well, that’s it! 10 GREAT instrumentals! Sure, there is a virtually endless list of great songs that could populate this list…these are just a few of my favorites.

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9 Reasons Why “Love Shack” is the Perfect Song

“Love Shack” by the B-52’s is the perfect song. Before you dismiss this (or blindly accept it), allow me to make my case with 9 specific reasons to back up my claim. First, some data:

“Love Shack” was the first single from the Athens, GA based group’s 1989 release Cosmic Thing. It was their first single to sell over one million copies and peaked at # 3 on the Billboard Hot 100. The album was produced by legendary rock producer Don Was. “Love Shack” is based on an actual cabin where singer Kate Pierson lived for a brief time in the 1970’s. As the song suggests, it was literally a small, tin-roofed shack that was “set way back in the middle of a field” just off Atlanta Highway just outside Athens near the Jackson and Clark County border. It burned down in 2004. 

And now, my reasons for naming “Love Shack” the perfect song:
 

1. “Love Shack” is about 133 beats per minute…an ideal speed for dancing. No dancing skills are necessary, either. Ever been to a wedding where the DJ didn’t play it? “Everybody’s movin’, everybody’s groovin’, baby.”

2. It tells a story and paints an extremely vivid picture. Whenever you hear it, you can picture the actual shack in your mind. Not many pop songs can do that.

3. The video! It received an MTV Video Music Award for Best Group Video. Plus, it just looks like a kick-ass party. I mean, come on…who WOULDN’T want to be at this party?

4. “Love Shack” is also a great song to do at your favorite karaoke bar…especially if you’ve got a guy and a girl to sing together. The karaoke track shows Fred Schneider’s lyrics in blue, and Kate Pierson & Cindy Wilson’s lyrics in pink. Brilliant!

5. You know all the words to it. ALL the words. Don’t even pretend like you don’t.

6. “TIN ROOF……RUSTED!” — Musical folklore dictates that this phrase shouted near the end of the song is “southern slang” for being pregnant. While it kinda makes sense, it’s never been truly proven. Either way, you know EXACTLY what to do when this part comes: SCREAM IT!

7. As a DJ, I lean on this song a lot because it’s appropriate for just about ANY kind of event I do. Besides weddings, it’s also perfect for holiday parties, trivia night, proms, garage parties, backyard barbecues, etc. It’s also enjoyed by just about every age group (because of reason # 1).

8. Stephanie Tanner danced to it on an episode of Full House. It was also used in episodes of GleeCougar Town and The Simpsons. “Weird” Al Yankovic used it in one of his legendary polka medleys and it was also included on the soundtrack to the video game version of Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. Evidence that it spans all mediums. Not just popular music.

9. “Love Shack” puts you in a good mood. Period. 

You may or may not agree with me, and that’s fine. In my world, “Love Shack” is the perfect song.

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Dick Clark: An American Original

It’s safe to say that music in America may not sound the same today had it not been for the early efforts of Philadelphia disc jockey Dick Clark.

We lost an American original today. Nobody lives forever, but deep down, most of us thought that the world’s oldest teenager would live forever.

Everyone has memories of Dick Clark. Whether it’s our parents remember watching American Bandstand in glorious black and white or being home from school on a “sick day” watching the $25,000 Pyramid…or, perhaps the biggest and brightest memory, watching Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve live from Time Square in New York City. Dick Clark touched all of our lives and it’s because of him that radio and television are what they are today.

My fondest memory of Dick Clark is this double LP: “Dick Clark – 20 Years of Rock and Roll! It was released in 1973. 

This record was played in my house a LOT when I was a kid. It’s probably why I am so fond of oldies music to this day.

Check out this track list:
SIDE A (yes, it’s a RECORD…with SIDES!)
1. Crying In The Chapel – The Orioles
2. Sh-Boom (Life Could Be A Dream) – The Crew Cuts
3. Rock Around The Clock – Bill Haley and the Comets
4. Blue Suede Shoes – Carl Perkins
5. I Walk The Line – Johnny Cash
6. I’m Walkin’ – Fats Domino
7. Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On – Jerry Lee Lewis
8. Rebel Rouser – Duane Eddy

SIDE B
1. AllI Have To Do Is Dream – The Everly Brothers
2. Put Your Head On My Shoulder – Paul Anka
3. Why – Frankie Avalon
4. Sweet Nothings – Brenda Lee
5. Runaround Sue – Dion
6. Soldier Boy – The Shirelles
7. Peppermint Twist – Joey Dee
8. Louie, Louie – The Kingsmen


(The inner fold of the double album)

SIDE C
1. Leader Of The Pack – Shangri-La’s
2. Wooly Bully – Sam The Sham And The Pharoahs
3. You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling – The Righteous Brothers
4. Hang On Sloopy – The McCoys
5. Do You Believe In Magic – Lovin’ Spoonful
6. Good Lovin’ – Young Rascals
7. Browd-Eyed Girl – Van Morrison
8. Dock Of The Bay – Otis Redding

SIDE D
1. Crimson and Clover – Tommy James
2. Oh Happy Day – Edwin Hawkins
3. Candles In The Rain – Melanie
4. Superfly – Curtis Mayfield
5. So Nice You’re Leaving – Al Green
6. Nice To Be With You – Gallery

Incredible. Such an amazing collection of timeless classics…from the FIRST 20 years of rock and roll. Dick Clark helped launched ALL of these acts in to superstardom…and this is just a sample of that. The number of bands and artists goes on and on. Without Dick Clark, who knows what radio would have sounded like today. 


(The back of the album jacket)

It goes without saying that Dick Clark is a true legend; an icon; relevant until the day he left us. His contributions to music, radio, television, and new year’s eve will never be forgotten.

Rest in peace, Dick.

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Goodbye, Davy.

We lost an icon this week…and with that loss, a piece of my childhood was lost as well.

When I was 9 years old, I was addicted to Nickelodeon. My favorite show was, by far, “You Can’t Do That On Television”. I also enjoyed “Double Dare”, “Out Of Control” and “Turkery Television”. Around that same time, Nick had started to show reruns of this show called “The Monkees”. A group of goofy young guys who lived together, got in to trouble, and played GREAT songs. I was hooked. At that time, I didn’t immediately realize that I was actually witnessing a rebirth of a phenomenon. It didn’t take long to figure out that what I was watching was 20 years old. It didn’t matter. I loved it and became an instant fan.

When I found out that The Monkees were embarking on a worldwide reunion tour to commemorate their 20th anniversary, I told my friends Cece & Dante (brother & sister and fellow fans of The Monkees)…and tickets for the concert at the Pontiac Silverdome were purchased. It was winter of 1986…and I experienced my very first concert ever.


(me and Cece sporting our Monkees 20th Anniversary Reunion Tour t-shirts, 1986)

Like many of my generation and generations before and after mine, The Monkees were my very first musical obsession. I ate, breathed, and slept Monkee music. I had ALL of their tapes (yes, tapes)…even the ones that weren’t particularly well received by critics OR fans. It didn’t matter to me. I loved all of it.

I would eventually go on to learn that there was, in fact, more music out there other than The Monkees (read: Harry Connick, Jr. obsession) but The Monkees would always hold a special place in my heart.

Today, when Jill sent me an email telling me that Davy Jones died, my initial reaction was denial…something that was likely shared by ALL of Davy’s fans. How could this be? I know we can’t live forever, but to happen so suddenly…just out of the blue. It was (and still is) incredibly shocking and terribly tragic.

As sad as it is, Davy and his legacy should be celebrated and honored. He was a teen idol, singer, actor, entertainer…and more importantly, a husband, father, and grandfather. The gifts he shared with the world will always be remembered and his contributions to the world of music will never be forgotten. He had a direct impact on my life as well of the lives of millions of fans around the world. As time continues, his music will continue to inspire future generations.

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Under The Covers

It’s a practice as old as music itself. The cover. Taking someone else’s song and making it your own. For better or for worse. It’s a hit and miss exercise…there are good cover songs, and there are not-so-good cover songs.

Here are 10 of each…I’ve posted the videos so you can see/hear for yourself. Because I care. :)

10 GOOD COVERS

I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston – 1992
Originally written and performed by Dolly Parton,  1973
It’s Whitney…’nuff said.

Hard To Handle – The Black Crowes – 1989
Originally performed by Otis Redding, 1968
I LOVE Otis Redding…but Georgia’s own Black Crowes really put this song on the map. (it’s worth noting that Otis Redding is ALSO from Georgia, but I digress)

Walking On The Moon – Cas Haley – 2008
Originally performed by The Police, 1979
Cas Haley was the 2nd place finisher on the 2nd season of America’s Got Talent. This was his stage audition song. I’ve been a fan ever since.

Rocket Man – William Shatner (yes, THAT William Shatner) – 1978
Originally written and performed by Elton John, 1972
If you haven’t seen this before, it’s EPIC. William Shatner, the great orator, at his absolute finest.

La Bamba – Los Lobos – 1987
Originally performed by Ritchie Valenz, 1958
This is, of course, from the movie “La Bamba” about the life of Ritchie Valenz. I used to know EVERY word to it. Still do.

Come On Eileen – Save Ferris – 1997
Originally performed by Dexy’s Midnight Runners, 1982
Like most band geeks in the early/mid 90’s, I was enthralled by Ska music. This cover crystallized that. Love this band!

Ballroom Blitz – Crucial Taunt – 1992
Originally performed by Sweet, 1973
Okay, I know this isn’t a REAL band…but they REALLY rock. EXCELLENT!

UB40 – The Way You Do The Things You Do – 1989
Originally performed by The Temptations, 1964
Very few bands have ever made a career out of cover songs as their big singles. UB40 is one of those bands.

Mr. Sandman – Pomplamoose – 2009
Originally performed by The Chordettes, 1954
Pomplamoose is a great example of a do-it-yourself band that gained a following almost exclusively on YouTube. Check out their channel. Amazing covers from a very talented husband & wife team.

I Fought The Law – The Clash – 1979
Originally performed by The Bobby Fuller Four, 1965
The Clash helped propel punk rock in to somewhat of a mainstream without compromising their punk attitudes. Not even when they covered this 60’s classic.

…and now for some NOT so good covers…these are just awful.

You Shook Me All Night Long – Celine Dion – 2002
Originally performed by AC/DC, 1980
Yes, this actually happened. I just…ugh…

I’m A Believer – Smashmouth – 2001
Originally performed by The Monkees, 1966
As a die-hard, life-long fan of The Monkees, I find this completely unacceptable. Also, remember when Smashmouth was cool for 5 minutes in 1997? Me neither.

Beat It – Fall Out Boy – 2008
Originally performed by Michael Jackson, 1983
How could these punk rock wannabes do such a thing!? I hate these fake-angst bands as it is…this just seals the deal.

Do Ya Think I’m Sexy – Paris Hilton – 2006
Originally performed by Rod Stewart, 1978
This isn’t exactly my favorite song of all time, but it IS Rod Stewart…and everybody’s favorite waste of space, Paris Hilton, was kind enough to include it on her 2006 debut album. Thanks, Paris!
(not the actual video because there isn’t one for it…the audio will speak for itself, though)

I Melt With You – Bowling For Soup – 2005
Originally performed by Modern English, 1982
Modern English’s original is probably the most beautiful compositions to ever come out of the 1980’s. It should be left alone. And not touched by a whiny pop/rock band.

Saturday Night’s Alright – Nickelback (ft. Kid Rock) – 2003
Originally performed by Elton John, 1973
Did that pickel ever get more fans than Nickelback?
(not an actual video, just audio)

Tainted Love – Pussycat Dolls – 2005
Originally performed by Gloria Jones, 1965 (but made super-famous by Soft Cell, 1981)
This one has been covered almost 30 times since it was first released. The Pussycat Dolls version is EASILY the worst one. See for yourself.

Funkytown – Pseudo Echo – 1986
Originally performed by Lipps, Inc., 1980
Pseudo Echo never really amounted to much. Because they made this awful cover. The video is just silly. Check out the quintessential 80’s landmarks in this video. It’s chock full of them!

American Pie – Madonna – 2000
Originally performed by Don McLean, 1971
WHY, MADONNA!? WHYYYY?!?!

Faith – Limp Bizkit – 1998
Originally performed by George Michael, 1987
If I were to make a list of the worst bands of all time (which I might do, actually), Limp Bizkit could easily contend for a spot in the top 10. As such, this cover of George Michael’s “Faith” could quite possibly be the worst song of all time. The worst song of all time from the worst band of all time. Period.

So, that’s it! 10 good covers, 10 not-so-good covers. As with most of my lists, these selections are just a sample of ones that could fit the category. I’m pretty confident in these selections, though.

–a.

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Track Two

The album making process is something I know virtually nothing about. Yet, I’ve always wondered about the process. How does an artist/band decide which songs go on their current project? Beyond that, how do they decide the ORDER of those songs? I can’t imagine it’s an easy process. As a music lover, I DO know that the first track of an album is vital in setting the tone for the material that follows.

Equally as important is the strength of the second song on the album. Because, when you think about it, an artist probably puts together an album like they would a mix tape. Start off strong, then take it up a notch…then maybe cool it down. At least that’s how I would do it. :)

Here are 10 really great songs that were selected by the artist to land in the second position on their album. Some of them are legendary, some are one-hit-wonders, some are just legends in my iTunes…either way, they’re all great…and they’re all TRACK TWO.

(Artist – Song – Album)

Harry Connick, Jr. – Come By Me – Come By Me

Maroon 5 – This Love – Songs About Jane

U2 – I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For – The Joshua Tree

Harvey Danger – Flagpole Sittuh – Where Have All The Merrymakers Gone?

Michael Jackson – Rock With You – Off The Wall

The Beatles – Eleanor Rigby – Revolver

Cornershop – Brimful of Asha – When I Was Born For The 7th Time

Outkast – So Fresh So Clean – Stankonia

Barenaked Ladies – It’s All Been Done – Stunt

The Buggles – Video Killed The Radio Star – The Age of Plastic

–a.

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The 5 Worst Songs of All Time

What is it about a song that makes it suck? The tune? The lyrics? The singer’s voice? The incessant auto-tuning? Whatever YOUR reasons are for not liking a song, they’re YOUR reasons. Guess what? There’s nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all.

These are 5 of MY least favorite songs…songs that make my blood boil, my skin crawl, and my blood pressure go out of whack. I’m sorry if you like any of these songs…sorry that you like crappy songs.

(in no particular order…because they all suck equally)

Mambo # 5 – Lou Bega

WHY IT SUCKS: This hunk of cheese gets under your skin like a parasite. The original version was done by Perez Prado in 1949. Lou Bega covered it in Spring of 1999. The corny, borderline inappropriate lyrics speak of a man who has serious commitment issues. The synthesized brass equates itself to fingers on a chalk board.

THE UPSIDE: It gave some really nice girls a rare opportunity to have their name in a really popular song . Erica, Rita, Monica, Sandra, etc.

———-

Crank Dat – Soulja Boy

WHY IT SUCKS: As a mobile DJ, there are certain “group dance” songs you will be expected to play. Electric Slide, Cha Cha Slide, and so on. This one, however, strikes fear in to the heart of any DJ worth his or her salt when the request is uttered. It’s SO incredibly shallow and useless. The dance is stupid, the lyrics (if you want to call them that) are hardly intelligible. The world would be just fine if this song were never played anywhere ever again.

THE UPSIDE: Kids of a certain age really like this song, apparently. So, as apprehensive as I am to play it, it always gets a good response. Whatever. Also, there are a TON of hilarious video dubs of this song on YouTube. Here is MY favorite!

———-

Truly, Madly, Deeply – Savage Garden 

WHY IT SUCKS: This Australian d-bag duo released this anti-opus in 1997. This song sucks mainly because of the overuse of a single-note in the hook. Listen to it. Do you hear it? La la la la la la la la….over and over again. It drives me crazy. It also reminds me of an ex-girlfriend (who LOVED Savage Garden…and knew I didn’t), but that’s a different issue.

THE UPSIDE: I really tried to come up with something positive for this one. Really.

———-

Summer Girls – LFO

WHY IT SUCKS: British techno-pop act LFO (Lyte Funky Ones) put this piece of garbage on American radio in the summer of 1999. With this one, it’s a problem with lyrics. “New Kids On The Block had a bunch of hits / Chinese food makes me sick” — Wow…such depth. Oh, and don’t forget about “When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet / Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets“. — Brilliant! (gag)

THE UPSIDE: LFO actually had some decent beats and were somewhat ahead of their time. They had a great deal of success in the UK…it’s too bad, actually, that their one big US hit was such a drag.

———-

Hey There Delilah – Plain White T’s

WHY IT SUCKS: Chicago based alt-rock band Plain White T’s formed in 1997. They didn’t really hit it big on a mainstream level until they released their third album, “All That We Needed” in 2005. It wasn’t until 2007 that this whiny, pathetic track was included in many top 40 rotations. I have a thing against whiny alt rock (Dashboard Confessional, etc)…I just can’t stand it. This song is the ultimate in commiserable, annoying angst.

THE UPSIDE: I hate that this was their big, breakout single. They actually have a few good tracks on that album.

———-

Here are a few songs that didn’t make the main list, but possibly could have:

  • Margaritaville – Jimmy Buffett
  • Old Time Rock & Roll – Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band
  • Friday – Rebecca Black
  • Mmm Bop – Hanson
  • Got The Life – Korn
  • anything by Everclear, The Offspring, or Dashboard Confessional

…the list goes on and on…

So that’s it. The 5 Worst Songs of All Time. Agree, disagree, that’s up to you. All I know is that these are MY least favorites. What songs would YOU put on this list?

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Aaron vs. Goo Goo Dolls, Rock ‘n Roll Jeopardy – 3/26/02 – 99x

This is me playing rock and roll Jeopardy against the Goo Goo Dolls on 99x in March of 2002. Seriously! It’s a little over 20 minutes long, but well worth the listen.

Also, this was not long before I really decided to chase a radio career. Being in the studio got me hooked.

Johnny, Aaron, Robbie, and cash.

Will I win?? Click  here to find out!

–a.

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